Single and Sacred

Alone but not Lonely

An avalanche of solitude

In the past few weeks, I’ve experienced numerous times in which it would be nearly impossible to hang with other people; such that I was virtually forced to be alone.  During these times, I was reminded of a truth that is ubiquitous in both its simplicity and unavoidability: I HAVE to seek the Lord.  There is really nothing else to do*.

So while the prick of the needle of solitude feels initially painful, in time the content of the spiritual syringe administered by nurse Jesus results in a stronger bond with Him.  For instance, the scope of things that i talk to Him about is likely higher in frequency and scope than the average believer simply because I want to talk to somebody and He’s there and understands what I’m saying without having to explain myself.

Also, one-way conversation is boring, so thats makes me more desperate to hear his voice to me so that I don’t feel like I’m just talking to the walls.  So He develops systems…we’ll call them decision-matrix’s such that mental impulses/thoughts/feelings/sensations go through these systems to help me determine if He is actually speaking to me or not.  Anyway, the point being is that the solitude from being single increases (for me) my desire/passion to know him and be known by him.

 

 

*Yeah of course I could be foolish and “do my own thing” even if I don’t feel his life/leading in it, but thats my style so thats just not gonna happen in Thomasville.

Here we go again

Well looks like I have this thing for another year.  Turned out I had an auto-renew on the payments for this thing, and its pretty cheap so whatevs.

End of the blog?

Hey err body,

I’m thinking the window on this blog may be coming to a close.  I haven’t gotten much over the past 6 months, and I’ve got 3 weeks to renew my URL before it expires.  So we’ll see what happens.

Coming full circle, and still learning of the Lord in all this…

So here I am about 3 months post breakup.  I can honestly say that I am thankful for the whole affair and I’m pretty sure I’m completely recovered.

She and I have hung out a few times and its almost like we are back to where we were before the relationship.  However we understand each other better now, so our friendship is even more rich!  That has been pretty satisfying.  As before, there are times in which Jesus will use one of us in the others life either to interpret a situation, or meet a practical need, or whatever.

Also, I still desire good upon her.  Whereas with other situations I think it would be difficult for someone in my shoes not to have some residual pain/regret of some measure.  I honestly don’t and now I still desire good for her and SINCERELY wish her the best.  I am learning about the Lord in this.  Averagely speaking, it makes sense to be angry and bitter.  But oh how wonderful it is to be a believer who walks in the Spirit!  I gotta think that this is similar to what Jesus experiences when his bride rejects him*.  Similar to Hosea and Gomer, who kept leaving him and spurning his love and how Hosea kept bringing her back.

Thats all for now folks!

*I am NOT saying I knew then or now that she was meant to be my bride, but I was at least willing to consider it.

A Wicked way to get fulfillment

 

Yes I fully concede that the title is clickbait and I don’t care: it was too good of an opportunity 😉

While I don’t sense a burning desire to get married, I have always had a desire (need?) to emotionally connect with females.  My method of meeting this desire/need is the same as everything else in life: I seek the Lord and follow his leading as I best comprehend it.  Sometimes this results in being led in directions that bless Him more than they bless me, and sometimes it can be downright confusing.  Recently, I think he wanted me to reread (something I NEVER do) a book that I had read about 5 years ago: Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West.  {Warning: this post contains spoilers.}  At the time, I really liked it and it gave me more empathy for atheists, as the book’s titular character, Elphaba, struggles with religious beliefs her whole life and the reader gets to see her struggle with confusion, anger, and feeling like a failure.

The characters and world of Oz are quite well developed and nuanced.  [If you have seen/heard the musical version with Idina Menzel, it is great in its own right, but it widely differs from the book.]  The book chronicles her life from birth to death, about 38 years, and when she was 25 had a short-lived affair that greatly colored her life outlook for her next 13 years.  The affair lasted a few months and its the only relationship she ever has.  She and her lover have a brief exchange at one point in which he asks if she is married, and she responds “I am married…just not to a man.”  To which the reader learns that she considers herself married to her work (of fighting injustice in Oz).

I felt particularly bad for her because she and other characters had a scandalously large number of unanswered questions at the end, and neither she nor the reader gets them answered.  Questions about her identity, the afterlife, if she really has free will or if she is under another spell, and whether or not she actually as a soul.  The whole thing was quite tragic.  All the same, parts of her journey mirror paths the Lord has brought me through.  In my walk with the Lord, I’m gradually trying to get comfy with the fact that some questions we just aren’t going to have the answers to until we no longer see through a dim glass (1 Corinth 13).

So I’m thankful to God for giving me this gift of being able to identify with someone who, while fictitious, is still similar to me in many ways: very earnest, very single, and sometimes misunderstood by her family.   Reading the book only took a few days, but it was comforting to feel connected with her character.

« Older posts

© 2017 Single and Sacred

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑